How to Get Rid of a Mad Titan
by BlueRubyBeat
Summary: Hela, Goddess and Ruler of the Spirits of the Dead was at her wits end with Thanos, the Mad Titan. He was courting her and she wanted him to stop. So she went to the only person in the entire universe who could help her...her father.
1. Father's Help

**How to Get Rid of a Mad Titan**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own any Marvel character.

 **A/N:** This got stuck in my head one day as a what-if scenario. I just had to write it! :) Please read and review!

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 **Father's Help**

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Long ago a being came into power, using meditation and augmenting himself. He became a powerful being like no other. As he continued to increase in power, so did his conquests of worlds. He grew over six and a half feet tall weighing almost half a ton, with a muscled purple physique. His name became known to many as Thanos.

Another being, feared more than any other, came into the life of Thanos. This being was the embodiment of Death. Death came to Thanos in a female form that looked exactly like the Goddess and Ruler of the Spirits of the Dead, who he did not know was not the same being. Thanos wished to court Death but Death was elusive and only came when Death wished. Recently, within the past couple millennia, Death had not visited Thanos and he was getting annoyed. He decided to find Death for himself and found Hela instead, the being who Death looked like when visiting Thanos. Becoming insane from all the power at his fingertips, he did not know that Hela was not the embodiment of Death that he came to know during their years together.

For years Thanos would kill other planets just to woo Hela, who did not appreciate the extra workload since some of those beings killed came to her underworld. She was becoming increasingly annoyed by his gestures and started calling him Mad Titan. She would say it to his face hoping to get him angry and leave her alone, but alas it only increased his affections since he believed it was a name of endearment from her; like using 'darling' or 'my love'. Hela was at her wits end with him and wanted him gone from her life but the only person who could help her was on Midgard.

That caused her to pause. She would do what any woman would do to get a guy to leave her alone. Hela would cry to her father, Loki Laufeyson/Odinson.

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The point in time that Hela would visit her father was when he was an enemy of Midgard, otherwise known as Earth. Currently he was on a flying aircraft, the Helicarrier, in a prison cell waiting for the perfect moment to strike. All the Avengers, with the exception of Clint Barton, were in the briefing area trying to figure out Loki's next move.

It was during that moment when a dark mass started forming, causing all talking to cease and weapons to be raised. Hela's body formed from the mass and looked around the area she transported to. She was not impressed with the weapons pointed at her.

"Mortals, I am not here for you so if you would please step aside," Hela informed them, as if they were unimportant to her.

"Who are you?" The leader, Nick Fury commanded.

Hela's right eyebrow rose unimpressed with his tone of voice, her face impassive. She decided to indulge the man.

"I am Hela, Goddess and Ruler of the Spirits of the Dead. Now that I have graciously answered your question, might I be on my way to where I need to go?"

"Not quite. Why are you here?" Fury continued, ignoring her question.

As a human act of annoyance, Hela rolled her eyes and turned her head to the only person in the room that she had any contact with previously.

"Hello uncle."

"Hela…" Thor replied, "Are you here to help my brother escape? He needs to be punished."

"Are you stupid?" Hela replied instead, then put up her hand to silence him. "Nevermind, I already know that answer."

This caused Tony Stark to snort even though it was a serious situation and Captain America to don a disapproving frown.

She walked up to Thor, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to a computer. Like her father, she would visit Midgard, seeing the changes of the world, it interested her. Since she visited, she knew how to access and work a computer, unlike her uncle. Hela knocked aside the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent working at the station, then forced Thor's face to the screen.

"Look at the screen!" She commanded as she typed onto the keyboard, her father's face showed up on the screen of him in the cell, frozen as he looked at the camera with a smirk on his face.

Thor tried to move his head away but Hela forced it back to the screen. "Look at the screen and tell me what you see!"

Thor was confused and just replied, "Loki…in his cell."

"No, you moron, look at his eyes and tell me what you see."

"His eyes are blue." Thor stated, then Hela let him back to his standing position. She motioned with her hand to continue but he was confused.

"No wonder father keeps complaining about your idiocy, if I had to stay in contact with you as long as he does I would complain too." Hela muttered, knowing Thor would hear her. "And what color were his eyes when he was growing up?"

Thor's eyebrows furrowed then his eyes lit up. "Green!" He bellowed.

Hela clapped slowly with a smirk on her face, "Congratulations. You aren't as imbecilic as you look."

The Avengers and agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. were all reminded of Loki in that moment, they looked scarily alike with that smirk.

"Why does that matter?"

"I take that back." Hela stated, "Let me put it into simple words for you. He. Is. Being. Controlled!"

Thor looked confused then ecstatic. The others were contemplating what this meant for Earth, if a god like Loki was being controlled, then who was controlling him?

"I know who's controlling him and I'll help break that control." Hela smiled evilly, this was what she came to Midgard for, her father's help, and she could help him as well.

Instantly she shape-shifted to her five year old form with the largest eyes a child could have. She sniffled a few times and let tears fill her eyes.

Thor's eyes widened in panic and pushed everyone out of the way, "Move away quickly!"

Some tears fell down her cheeks, she took a large breath and screamed at the top of her lungs, "PAPAAAAAAAA!"

In an instant a furious Loki popped in the room looking around at everyone, then spotted his brother and glared at him with cold green eyes.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

He assumed whatever made his daughter cry was Thor, he wasn't even questioning why she was there in the first place. Thor shook his head from side to side, denying everything with a stutter. A pissed off Loki was pretty scary, but a pissed off father was even worse.

With one last glare at Thor, Loki turned around to his daughter with loving expression.

He picked her up and hugged her to his chest while asking sweetly, "What's wrong my darling daughter? Did Thor do something mean to you?"

Everyone around the two were staring at Loki like he another person, many had their jaws dropped with the exception of Fury, Agent Coulson, Agent Hill and Natasha Romanoff.

Hela took pity on her uncle and responded before he could destroy him.

"No, he didn't. It was Thanos the Mad Titan!" Loki looked surprised and a little confused, he didn't know Thanos was called that.

She continued crying, "He wants to court me and he keeps killing lots of people and planets! He's making my job harder Papa! I don't like him! He's a meany and he's scary! Make him go away!"

She curled up in his chest and cried harder. Loki's body stiffened and his face went through a myriad of emotions, changing from cold rage to neutral to a loving face looking down at his daughter. It creeped out his audience seeing him express himself in something other than his usual smirking visage.

"Don't worry my darling daughter," Loki cooed at her kissing the top of her head before wiping her tears away. "Papa will make everything better."

Hela looked up at Loki with large and hopeful eyes, "Promise?"

Loki's smile never diminished, "Promise."

He put her down and put a hand on her head for comfort before leveling a glare at Thor. "Protect her while I'm gone or I'll punish you worse than what Mother does."

Thor nodded his head in fear, anything worse than Mother's punishments was horrifying. Loki nodded back then disappeared in a swish of darkness not unlike his daughter.

The Helicarrier was silent, no on wished to break the tenseness. Then as one everyone looked at Hela. She was busy flicking away the last of her tears calmly then she smirked at the crowd. In a span of a few seconds she shifted back into her original form.

"And that's how it's done. Father is not controlled anymore and taking care of the guy that controlled him which coincidentally is the guy that's been trying to court me and conquer the universe."

Still silence. Hela looked around at the people in the room and spotted Captain America. Her eyes looked him up and down and she nodded to herself before appearing right next to him.

"So who are you good looking?"

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On another planet a purple sized blur was being thrown around, beaten and screamed at with profanity by a slender man with black hair and ice cold green eyes.

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	2. Telling Father

**How to Get Rid of a Mad Titan**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own any Marvel character.

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 **Telling Father**

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"Have fun cleaning Father?"

Loki was exhausted as he trudged into the room, he only gave Hela a cursory glance before collapsing on the fluffy chair.

"It was taxing with every agent giving me mixed looks of sympathy, rage, annoyance and fear. I was controlled as much as the next person and they are all blaming me! I even took care of the being that did it too!"

Hela took a sip of her tea as she watched her father rage and vent his frustrations with words and wild gestures. Eventually he couldn't sit down any longer, his exhaustion disappearing, and started pacing not stopping for a moment in his tirade. It was amusing seeing her father all flustered and annoyed, it might make it easier for her to tell him something of importance to her.

"Here Father, have a cup of some black tea."

With a swish of her hand, Hela poured a cup of tea from the tea pot and added four sugar cubes. Loki was almost shoved into the chair from Hela's magic and the tea placed between his hands, warming them up. Hela could see her father relax with every sip he took, a content smile slowly forming on his face.

"Besides my annoyingly taxing day, how was yours daughter?"

"Hmm…it went well, I was just roaming New York. I found a nice little cafe that opened up since I last visited, it was pleasing."

Loki nodded mindlessly to her chatter, his body relaxing the more he drank his sweetened tea.

"And I met Steve there as well, it was nice. He was so delicious!"

"Yes he is-wait what?"

Loki sat up and gave his daughter the parent stare, the 'you better not be saying what I think you're saying or you're grounded' stare.

"What? I met him, we talked, that was it."

Loki didn't believe her, but Hela was adamant in her statement, her visage even projected innocence which Loki didn't buy since he was the master at it.

"Right. Now what really happened?"

"Okay fine. I met Steve on the Helicarrier after you left to deal with Thanos. I like him and then I kinda sorta stalkedhimtofindoutwherehelikedtogo."

Loki blinked and just replied, "I'm sorry what?"

"'I stalked him to find out where he liked to go' is what I said."

Loki took a sip of his tea and didn't say a thing, only because he was trying to figure out what to say. His daughter liked Captain America, boy wonder, freedom himself. What he said now could make her hate him or love him.

Hela watched her father just sipping his tea away, like it was infinite. She wondered what he'd say about this, she really hoped he'd help her.

After a few minutes Loki sighed. He put his tea cup down on his lap and leaned back into the chair.

"Hela…I won't discourage you from your infatuation…"

"But…?"

"But don't make me a grandfather so soon, I don't think my heart can take it."

Loki smirked behind his teacup as he watched his daughter turn bright red and sputter 'Father!' and other responses embarrassingly. His job was done, his daughter tried to prank him so he would do it right back, he was the master and his daughter only an apprentice.

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End file.
